Preparing for Mediation

Mediation is often the next step in a divorce proceedings. The goal of mediation is for the couple to reach a full and fair settlement agreement without having to go to court. Mediation is most often held in the mediator’s office. It’s between the petitioner (and potentially their lawyer), the respondent (and potentially their lawyer), and a mediator. This can be an extremely stressful process, especially if you are dealing with a case of abuse. That is why it is important to be prepared and properly represented. If you are dealing with abuse or an imbalance in power you either need to be well represented or take your soon to be ex to court.

The Most Important Way to Prep

The single most important thing you can do when preparing for mediation is to talk to your lawyer.

• Ask all of your questions about how the process will look for you. If your lawyer doesn’t give you a clear answer, insist that they clarify until you understand.
• Insist on a meeting to walk-through a flow of the process, your role, the lawyer’s role, and the mediator’s role.
• Discuss your priorities with your lawyer and how you will plan together to negotiate regarding assets.

Whatever you do, do not let your lawyer make you feel like your questions are unimportant or that there isn’t time to discuss your case. This is about your life! You need to be fairly represented and understand what will happen at this big moment in the divorce process.

Be Prepared to Negotiate in Mediation

When you go into mediation you need to be prepared and know what your priorities are. If there is an asset in your life that means everything to you, know that you are fighting for that asset. It might be custody of children, custody of pets, house ownership, vehicle ownership, or other important items.

You will not walk out of mediation with everything (it is intended to be fair to both parties). Know what you are willing to give up in exchange for what you truly want. If you don’t go in with a plan of what you are willing to give, you may end up giving up items you didn’t want to give in exchange for items you care less about.

In Conclusion

Mediation can be a challenging experience in any divorce. It is especially challenging when the divorce is due to abuse. The way to make it as smooth as it can possibly be is to go into it supported and prepared. You can handle this!