Feeling pretty is something that I have struggled with and something that many people struggle with. For many this is a lack of confidence issue, but there may be specific reasons that we have these insecurities in addition to previous traumas that may impact how we feel about ourselves.
For me, I have not worn what I truly want to wear and have not felt/wanted to be pretty in a long time. Today was the day that I flipped the script.
Why I Didn’t Want To Be Pretty
One of the last times that I truly felt pretty was a day that I didn’t want to be (my brother’s wedding). I wanted to be pretty for myself and the event but didn’t because I knew what it meant to my ex-husband. This event came the week after my ex-husband had assaulted me. When I bought my dress the week of, he was with me and kept telling me “You know what that dress makes me want to do to you”. The same thing happened the day of the wedding. He was giving me so much attention that I didn’t want and he kept breaking my boundaries. Since this moment being pretty or wearing a dress has been scary for me. I have not even wanted to look at a dress.
Progress and Moving Forward
Today is a good marker of the progress that I have made. It makes sense why I didn’t want to wear a dress for a long time. However, I wasn’t allowing myself to be happy or feel good about myself by wearing too big or unflattering clothes. I found a dress and spontaneously tried it on and I loved how I looked in it. So I took a deep breathe and I bought it.
Today I put that dress on. But not only that I did my hair, make-up, and nails (which I also have not done in a while). I feel so good about myself and am happy to be in something I feel good in. Here is the best part. I’m getting to feel pretty for myself and not for anyone else, especially not my ex-husband.
My advice to you is to put on something that makes you feel good about yourself. You are always pretty or handsome, but it matters that you feel that way about yourself.
