At The End of Your Rope

For therapeutic reasons, I digitally created the above image, describing the feeling of being at the end of my rope. Clinging to the tiny frays of rope coming off the ends. I immediately felt really ashamed and embarrassed of creating this image. Then I started trying to figure out why. Why did I feel ashamed of creating this image? Part of it was because I felt like my pain or my experiences did not have as much value as the experiences of others. Part of it was because I felt like I should be stronger than that right? I shouldn’t be at the end of my rope.

But here is the truth okay. There are likely a ton of people at the end of their rope (whatever that looks like to them). People you would never realize are facing the things that they are facing. People who are being pushed to their limits emotionally, physically, and mentally. For all those people I want to talk about the fact that being at the end of your rope doesn’t necessarily mean that you are an inch from death, but that you are at your full brain capacity to continue the path you are currently on.

What Being At the End of Your Rope Tells You

There are actually two totally different ways that I have started looking at this concept. One for things that you have to keep clinging to that rope for and one for things that you can let go of that particular strand of rope for.

When to Cling On To Your Rope

There will be times when you are weathering a storm that you have no external control over period. Things that now that you are in it, you can’t reasonably change the circumstances.

• Struggles in the midst of parenthood
• Traumatic injury to your brain or body
• Fighting a battle with Cancer or other illness
• Navigating chronic illness
• Loss of a loved one/pet
• Navigating Depression and other mental illnesses
• Etc.

These are things that can push you to the end of your rope both physically and emotionally, but you can’t on your own make them go away and you have to fight and cling on to your rope. But if you are weathering that storm, you can still start to pull the frays of your rope together and that happens with support and management strategies. You are but one person and these things can be too big for one person to weather all alone without strategies.

• Therapy/Support Groups
• Medications/Treatments
• Reaching out to Family/Friends
• Meal Trains
• Rest!!
• Babysitting/Housecleaning Services
• Finding those little glimmers of joy
• Having faith in a higher power

It is not to say that these strategies are easy to implement or that everyone has access to these options financially or in their given situation. But if you are feeling at the end of your rope in a situation that you cannot change the circumstances on your own, I would take a look and see if there is at least one of these things that you can try. And if none of these options are viable and you are considering giving up please reach out for crisis resources: 1-800-273-TALK(8255) or text 988.

When to Let Go/Rebuild Your Rope

Sometimes we go through hardships that do not come from our realm of control, but we can make choices once in the situation (even if it is hard to do so) that can change our situation.

• An abusive/unhealthy relationship (as an adult)
• Toxic friends/family members
• A sport or career choice that is costing you your physical health
• A job/career that is deteriorating your mental/emotional health (extreme burnout)

In these types of situations being at the end of our rope may mean that we shouldn’t keep weathering the storm. Sometimes staying and weathering this kind of storm is continuing to make you worse off. I know that I felt like to be strong I had to keep weathering the storm and that if I was strong enough the problem would go away. That isn’t always the case in these situations. In that case let’s let go of that frayed end that we are clinging to. But let’s start rebuilding our rope from a different fray.

• Cut toxic people out of your life and find support in those who truly care about you
• Stop seeking validation from people who won’t give it to you
• Get away from that abusive situation (in a way that is safe) and start making a life for yourself
• Find a job that values your worth and sanity
• Find an alternative choice that you brings you similar joys but less physical pain/injury

Letting go of the end of your frayed rope and rebuilding it is one of the hardest things you may ever do. It is important to recognize the damage that hanging onto the rope in these types of cases can cause you. It is not a bad thing to give up to move on to something new. Clinging to the end of our rope in these cases prevents us from growing as people and moving in the direction we need to go for ourselves. You deserve to do what is best for you!