One of the things that you may start wondering and others may start wondering after you get out of a romantic relationship, is when you will begin dating again. However it is critical that you are in the right mindset before diving back in.
Your Mindset Cannot Be About Your Ex
Depending on why you left your previous relationship, you may have a lot of feelings from that. You might have feelings of jealousy if your spouse/partner was cheating on you. You may be grieving from the separation and be craving the same connection with another person. These feelings may cause you to want to jump right back into dating. Perhaps you want to make your ex feel jealous. Or maybe you want to prove to yourself that you can get someone better than the new partner that your ex currently has.
Dating should not be done with a mindset of spite and jealousy. It isn’t fair to your new partner or to yourself. Dating needs to be about you and the person you are dating. The story that the two of you will create together. It isn’t about how you are going to one up your ex. Your ex doesn’t matter anymore and you don’t need to let them have power over you and your decisions anymore. Your decisions on when you start dating and who you choose to date should be about what makes you happy.
If you are not in this type of mindset, you are probably not ready to start dating again just yet. Take time to work on and focus on yourself. Work through therapy, journaling, meditation, and self discovery to navigate these difficult but understandable emotions. This will help prevent you from bringing excessive baggage into a new relationship and allow you to enjoy the dating process more than you would rushing into it.
KnowYour Worth
Not only should your mindset be focused on what makes you happy when you start dating, you also need to know your worth. This is critical, so that you do not settle for someone who does not value you. This is your reminder that you do not need a partner to have worth. Your value as a person has nothing to do with having a partner. You are worthy as you are and having a partner should just complement you and create a new experience that you get to enjoy with them.
You deserve someone who:
- Respects you and your boundaries
- Values your time and energy
- Values who you are as a person
- Communicates clearly and collaborates with you
Do not settle for less than what you deserve!!
