Pets When Leaving a Domestic Violence Relationship

When we talk about people leaving domestic violence relationships, we often forget about everything that the person must risk or sacrifice when they depart. Often times there is risk of losing or having to split custody of kids with an abusive partner. However, the same can be true of pets. There are many reasons why a person may lose a pet when leaving a domestic violence situation.

Pets and Domestic Violence Shelters

A large hold up in domestic violence survivors leaving their abusive relationship is concerns surrounding leaving their pets behind. Purina notes that this is true in approximately 48% of domestic violence cases. I am part of that 48%.

For some people, they can’t take their pets with them because they wouldn’t be allowed to live with them. Most domestic violence shelters do not allow pets. There are many people in domestic violence situations that do not have a support system. Many have been removed from their family and friends. In addition, a lot of abusers are financially abusive and will spend all the money that their partner has. These two things together can make it difficult for a person to leave the situation and have somewhere safe to live. This means that many people need to go to a domestic violence shelter when they leave. If these places do not allow pets, people will have to leave their animals in order to get themselves to safety.

My Delay in Leaving

There were two times that I was going to leave prior to when I did, but I didn’t because I wasn’t going to be able to take Gatsby. It was critical to me that my buddy Gatsby came with me. For one, he was my best buddy, I loved him. For two, I wasn’t going to leave him in what I felt was an unsafe situation.

The first time that I was ready to leave was when I was out with a friend. I didn’t want to go back home, I wanted to run away with her. But my ex-husband was at home and I didn’t have Gatsby with me. I had to go back home so that I could be with him. The second time that I wanted to leave was a night that my ex-husband was home with me. I didn’t feel confident that I could get Gatsby out of the house without my ex-husband waking up and hurting the both of us. I waited until he was gone on a trip, so that I could safely get Gatsby and I out of the house.

The Law & Pets

Unfortunately, even if you manage to get out of the domestic violence relationship with your pets, you may still end up losing them due to the law. I learned the hard way that the law is not always on the side of the survivor, it is often on the side of the abuser. Why? Because the abuser is smart, connected, and knows how to cover their tracks. Thanks to this, even though I escaped with Gatsby and fought in mediation, I still lost Gatsby. My abuser knew the law better than I did. He was better connected to law enforcement than me. The law doesn’t protect pets in the way that it does people. They are viewed as property in the eyes of the law. It is unfair to both the survivor and to the pets, but that is how it works.

In Conclusion

In conclusion, escaping domestic violence is hard. It is made even harder when you have to leave everything that you care about, including your pets behind. There should be reform in these laws. There should also be some shelters designed with people’s pets in mind. This could help to remove one of the barriers for domestic violence survivors.