As of December 20, 2024, I have officially been divorced for 2 years and separated for 2 1/2 years. After taking a lot of time and working through the grief, I managed to get rid of most everything that reminded me of my marriage. There were a couple of items that I held onto longer than others. But the thing that I held onto the longest were my wedding and engagement ring. On December 20, 2024, I got rid of my wedding rings for good.
Why I Held On For So Long
There are two big reasons why I held on to my wedding rings for so long.
For one they had a ton of sentimental value (even thought they are also a terrible reminder). They were given to me on the two days that were the happiest of days. The day that I got engaged while on a family vacation and he proposed in front of everyone. And the day that I said, “Always”. On these days, I didn’t know that he was abusive or that he was manipulating me. I was filled with love and excitement. It was hard to imagine getting rid of them. So they sat in a drawer in my closet for 2 years.
Secondly, I wasn’t sure what to do with these rings. It didn’t feel right to just throw them away. I had gotten lots of advice from a variety of people. From those who thought I should throw them into the river. To those who thought I should bust the rings myself before throwing them away. Those who thought I could sell them back to the jeweler. And those who thought I could donate them. It was tough to decide what the best option was.
Getting Rid of My Wedding Rings
The anniversary of my divorce was coming up. I have been trying to look at this day as a celebration. A celebration of getting away from an abusive situation and honoring myself for being able to not just get away, but stay away. I try to find something that highlights moving forward. What better day to finally get rid of my wedding rings. I didn’t want to just toss them (they are so valuable). I didn’t want to donate them (they have bad karma attached). So I decided to take a chance on taking them to the jeweler.
The Jeweler
I was so nervous when I walked into the jewelry store with the rings. My hands were shaking from holding them. Everyone thought I wanted to get them repaired or soldered together. I quickly said, “actually I am hoping to get them appraised and see if I can sell them back”. I awkwardly stood in the store surrounded by anxious men trying to get the perfect ring. All I wanted to do was cry. Come to find out that the store would buy back the metal but not the stones. I decided to take them to a pawn shop to see if they would give me any more for them.
The Pawn Shop
Walking into the pawn shop was one of the scariest things I have done by myself. And the longer that I held onto those rings the more I wanted them to go away. I made the decision when I walked in that if they didn’t give me a better price I would go back to the jeweler and take their amount. Could I have gotten more money through eBay or Facebook Marketplace, sure. But it wouldn’t have been worth my time/effort and I would have had to hold onto those wedding rings longer. The pawn shop was willing to give me more, even though it was nowhere near their worth. I didn’t even push the pawn shop, I just took the first offer.
The Wedding Rings Are Gone
If you would have been there, you might have seen the weight lift from my shoulders when I walked out of the shop. It was over and done. I never have to see those rings again. The last tangible items tethering me to my ex-husband. They were gone! And I was so proud of myself (still am). I even celebrated myself that night for not only leaving my ex-husband and putting myself first, but by getting rid of those rings.
Know that it is okay if you still have items from your relationship that you are holding onto. Take however much time you need. There is not a deadline, just the time that is right for you. This was the time that was right for me. There is not a perfect method of disposal, just what makes sense to you. This was what made the most sense to me in this moment. You can do this!
