Pictures as Triggers

Lately I have talked about how the holiday season can present with a lot of triggers for those experiencing grief, PTSD, etc. One of those things that can be triggering are pictures. I recently had a picture pop up in my photo memories. It took me right back and gave me loads of emotions. Although these emotions may not be comfortable, it is important to remember that feeling these emotions is not a bad thing. We have to work through these feelings in order to keep moving forward. We can’t do that if we just bury the memories. However, there is a window of tolerance that you want to stay within. If you are not ready for those emotions, then trying to avoid these triggers would be ideal.

Why Pictures Can be Triggering?

A picture may seem like something silly to be triggered by on the surface. However, there is a lot of evidence behind this. Pictures are basically a moment in time that has been captured. The very essence of taking pictures is in the idea that we want to remember what is happening in that particular moment. Our brains are capable of attributing emotions to these moments in time.

When we see a picture we are basically transported through time to that place in the photograph. The photo can evoke a similar emotion to how we felt at the time it was taken. A fun example may be a vacation at the beach and you feel warm, happy, or reminisce on exciting moments you had with friends and the funny things they said. Therefore, pictures can have the same effect in a negative way as well, transporting you back to a time that you would rather forget. Or reminding you of a person that you dearly miss and would give anything to have another happy moment with.

My Recent Experience With a Triggering Photo

The picture you see below popped up in my photo memories. It was taken at my cousin’s wedding just after Thanksgiving. My caption I had shared with this photo was “My forever date”. It was the absolute last truly good moment that I had with my ex-husband. This captured the beginning of the end. The day after this photo was taken, I found him balled up in our hallway crying and screaming that he couldn’t handle anything in life anymore and he didn’t think that it could be fixed (but that it had nothing to do with me). This was not the first time that he had expressed ideation like this. He had told me several times that I saved him from unaliving. He walked out on me that day and went to stay with his parents. I was absolutely crushed and didn’t know what to do.

After this moment he refused to talk to me about what had happened. He wouldn’t get help for himself or for us as a couple. This began the downward spiral of our relationship because I was pushing back and not giving in to him anymore. I was no longer completely fooled. His narcissim could not take me pushing back.

For me to see this picture took me back to how I thought we were happy and the perfect couple. I didn’t know then what he had been slowly doing to me. It triggers what I miss, but also takes me back to what happened the next day and how crushed and empty I felt. I truly didn’t think, even that next day that I would be where I am now. It is important for me at the stage that I am at to work through the feelings that this picture triggers. I have to allow my brain to work through them. It allows me to see what those feelings let me see and that I am far better off now, than I thought I was in this photo.

Remember that it is natural to feel all of the emotions that are evoked by looking at triggering images. If you are not in the place for that, I would recommend avoiding social media and any other platform that shows you memories or allows you to click through past photos. It is challenging, so give yourself some grace.