Reclaiming Special Events After Trauma

After experiencing trauma and escaping toxic relationships, it can be very challenging to find joy in events or experiences you once enjoyed with your abusive significant other. A large step in recovery and getting your power back is by reclaiming these experiences as your own. You deserve to still find joy by recreating these moments in new ways and with new people.

The Arcade Expo

Today was actually the first time, since I ran away, that I was dedicated to reclaiming a public event as my own. Going to the Arcade Expo. This is something that my ex-husband and I did almost every single year. He used to get free tickets from work. But we loved it so much that we kept going after he left that job. We had specific games that we had to play every time we went. He even would surprise me with going there. It was a very special date for us and it was one of those moments that was always happy in our relationship. This was one of my favorite events of the year and I wanted more than anything to be able to go again and enjoy it. But the idea of it was terrifying. All the good memories there were with my ex-husband and it would make me miss him (even if I shouldn’t). What if he showed up there? Plus, now with me being in a wheelchair, how would that work? Just a ton of very reasonable anxiety.

Reclaiming the Arcade Expo

Despite all of my PTSD related anxiety, along with my disability related anxiety, I really wanted to go to the Arcade Expo. I was determined that reclaiming this event was possible and worth it for myself. There were several strategies that I used. Strategies to reduce my anxiety and strategies specific to reclaiming this experience.

• Picked a date that he would be less likely to attend
• Picked a time of day that would be less likely for him to be out and about
• Went with a group of amazing friends
• Had an exit strategy if I were to see him at the event
• Played all new games than I have never played at this event

A Message of Strength

Now I will not sit here and pretend that this was all sunshine and rainbows. It was still incredibly difficult. There were many triggers at this kind of event that flared my PTSD. I spent a lot of time with my eyes darting in different directions to make sure that my ex-husband was not there. There were definitely moments when I felt like I couldn’t breathe and there were times where I was unfocused on the games and my friends. But, I did conquer it and I did have fun at the event too. I feel like even if I will still feel stress at this event in the future, that I have at least built new positive memories with new people. You can do this too. You can reclaim the events in your life that are still important to you. Perhaps it is not possible for you to do the exact same thing, but you can find alternative similar activities that give you the same amount of joy. Go forth and make new memories for yourself and your life.