Social Media Baiting

This is truthfully a different direction than I was planning on for this blog post. But this morning I saw something on social media and I thought that I could use it to help others. Social media, for everyone, is a way to show the side of you that you desire. This often means that it neglects the whole picture. In the cases of abusive relationships it can be used as a tool for manipulation and baiting.

What is Baiting?

In narcissistic relationships, baiting, refers to attempting to provoke an emotional reaction. Baiting is a tool that can be used for a variety of reasons.

• To make you appear crazy to others when you react to the abuse
• Your reaction gives them the sense of power and control that they crave
• To pull you back into the relationship when you have gone no contact

Example of Baiting on Social Media

I ran into this image above on my ex-husband’s social media account this morning and it was very triggering for me. The truth is, what is said on this post is technically factual. Yes, I did run away with our dog while he was on a trip (so it was without his knowledge or consent). But what it neglects is context.

• That I ran away for my safety (due to things he did) and wanted to keep our dog safe
• I was the one who took care of our dog, so how would I know that our dog wouldn’t be neglected by him
• That I tried to share our dog with him, but he ghosted my communication attempt
• There was a lot of trauma I went through when he took our dog back

This post could have been meant for a lot of reasons, but they all act in a manipulative and baiting way. Because he is aware that this action of mine makes me feel guilty. This post could trigger me to just feel bad. Or make me want to respond on this public platform to defend myself to “our friends”. Worst case scenario, getting me to reach out to him, which would just pull me back into the relationship.

Importance of Not Falling for Baiting

It is incredibly difficult to not fall into baiting. Especially if your partner/ex-partner is very good at it. Chances are, no matter what, it will make you feel bad. The most important thing though is to use this strategy.

Pause when you are triggered by something your abuser says. Before you react to it- Stop and Think!

Amber Sheffield

This is important because you will likely regret what you say in these moments. You will have given your abuser power and you may have started to slip back into the abusive relationship. Although it is hard, it is better if you try to ignore these baiting moments. At the very least, don’t fall into responding to these moments. You will not win by responding!