In previous posts we have discussed the power of the anniversary effect when it comes to dealing with trauma. This may come from the time of year that your trauma occurred or an important date. A huge PTSD trigger of mine stems from my wedding anniversary.
How YourWedding Anniversary Post Divorce Can Be a Hard Day
A wedding is often one of the most special days that a person has in their entire life. It is a landmark that represents your life changing (in theory for the better). You might have spent a long time and money planning for this moment. You are excited to spend forever loving this person who you care so deeply for.
Your wedding anniversary is the celebration of that airbus moment in time. Typically you will try to spend time with your spouse and do something special for yourselves. You might get dinner, make a special meal, take a trip, or get/make each other gifts. It is a time to remember your wedding/marriage and how much you love your spouse.
After divorce it is still a reminder of that day. However, you will likely not be looking back on it as fondly.
- You might feel regret
- You may be grieving how you used to feel for your ex
- You may be feeling lonely
- If you have PTSD as a result of abuse from yow ex you may experience heightened panic symptoms
However you feel, remember that the feelings are valid and give yourself grace in the feelings.
Navigating The Ups and Downs
Yesterday was my second wedding anniversary since leaving my ex-husband. I had thought that I was doing fairly well until I tried to go to sleep the night before. I had a major panic attack and could not go to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I kept seeing moments of abuse. It was then I decided to take it a moment at a time and do whatever I needed to do. From binge watching sitcoms on Netflix, to baking cookies at 2 in the morning (to give to others), and doing yoga for PTSD. I also worked through emotions by doing short walks (I have had a hard physical health week), working on a puzzle, and eating whatever sounded good.
I also avoided doing things that I would later regret even if they sounded good in the moment. Like texting my ex-husband to ask why he did what he did. Or mailing my ex a letter with how he made me feel. Or relaunching my social media to highlight that I don’t need him. I kept retelling myself that I wouldn’t get what I was searching for and I don’t need his validation to know I’m living my best life without him in it.
Practicing grace and not looking into the future was critical to making it through the day. I encourage you when having a tough day to do the same. Do what you need to do to make it through the day as long as it is not hazardous to yourself or others. You are not alone and you will make it through the tough patch. I promise.
